I heard and I am not turning away. I know you are scared to look there…it hurts. I hear you and I’m here. Please, let’s face it – the ugliness, the wound, that which makes you bury your head in tears and shame. Let’s face that which makes you want to scream. I see your tears flow and your heart that contains those deep dark truths that you want to bury so deeply.
Would you be willing to just glance in that direction? The little aching girl inside you is crying alone – aching to be heard and integrated into the beautiful you that you’ve become. She needs your attention, your fierceness, your love. You have to hear her – even if she screams.
I want you to walk in that dark tunnel of your heart, the one you never, ever walk down. I am convinced that this is what you must face to heal and move forward with your full vibrancy. She is calling for you – hidden away – aching for your nurturing love to find her. Please just glance in that direction. Your glance will give you the strength to glance longer next time, then to gaze, then to walk, then to find and face her….hear her…what is she saying to you?
And this is what I heard from you…
With fear pulsing in your veins, you closed your eyes and saw the image you hated…the calloused hand on you, the mean voice. Surging with anger and panicky fears you wanted to run away from this memory. You breathed and did something you had never done before…you looked at the little girl left behind when the hands were done. Before it had been about him and what he had done…but now…you looked at her.
For the first time you saw her blank stare, her pudgy fingers on her lower lip, her eyes red with burning tears. Overwhelmed you cried at this site of your younger self who was so wounded. You had never, ever stood in her presence to feel and connect with this aching child in you…your own self that you both hated with viciousness and loved with fury.
You watched and saw this girl get up and with vacant eyes she walked to the empty kitchen. You saw her little fingers find the cookies. You watched her sit on the floor and begin eating and eating and eating until she finally laid on the floor and closed her little eyes….
For the very first time you understood your own night walks to the kitchen…
I know the illumination of this truth burns. I also know that knowledge like this is the only way to create a pathway into the protected terrain of your heart to go and love, love, love this sweet hurting girl waiting inside of you.
I believe in your bravery. I will walk this journey with you…